Forever – Then and Now

 

Breathe and Watch

As you close your eyes and drift onto the past, you see the silhouette of the person who hasn’t been around and it hurts. The constant throbbing on the chest, the countless pins piercing your body and penetrating your soul is like that sudden and sharp reminder things would never be the same, no matter how hard you try. As you try harder looking and searching, the shape and form become vivid and now stands in front of you – mocking and ridiculing you. As you reach out, seeking answers to the questions that have been haunting you forever, they disappear. They disappear because they don’t have an explanation. And after all this while, all you can do is wonder – What the heck went wrong?

Breathe and Smell

As you inhale and exhale, their scent fades and strengthens from the pillows, clothes in the closet and drawers, from the air that surrounds you and it hurts. The blazing fire in the bones, the shredding of your heart into a pile of nothings is an everlasting keepsake that pushes you into a pit where every atom has the whiff of rifts and splitting up. As you try to piece the puzzle by yourself, you find pieces missing – the pieces that you gave them, which can’t be returned as they were an embodiment of your soul. And after all this while, all you can do is wonder – What the heck went wrong?

Breathe and Taste

As you open your mouth ever so slightly and close it with a smack, the taste of their lips hit your throat with a certain sweetness and pungency simultaneously. The crashing and crumbling of every ounce of strength, the marring of your being by invisible blows is a ghastly trophy that carries a sting of your defeat. As you try your best one last time, you are met with such a contemptuous indifference, you lose faith in people and yourself. And after all this while, all you can do is wonder – What the heck went wrong?

Breathe and Listen

As you open your ears fully, their soft and silvery voice turns to strident and stentorian squeals disrupting the silence and stillness. The thunder in your thoughts and the imploding of the voice you possess that storms inside and shakes every cartilage are the final cry of a wounded animal who fought but lost. You don’t possess the strength to carry on and kiss the turf in despair and hopelessness. And after all this while, all you can do is wonder – What the heck went wrong?

Breathe and Feel

As you swivel between numbness and emotions, their gentle and kind touches turn to excruciating and tearing squeezes. The despair courses through your veins and the torments leave you twisted and tangled in a sphere of endless pain that eventually leaves your heart scorched and spasmed. You eventually give up, accept the course of events unwillingly until you grow back to a self that is stronger and more discerning than the original self. And after all this while, you no longer have to wonder – What the heck went wrong?

 Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

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